My story.

Music is a big part of who I am. I don’t sing, I do play the piano. I took piano from about the first or second grade until the tenth grade. But piano isn’t really part of who I am now. But music is big for me – especially in my worship. I’m sure we all have our favorite hymn or praise song. I have lots, but 4 of them put me into a totally different place of worship than others.  

One is Goodness of God – that one will stir up some tears in me!!  I love you Lord – for your mercies never fail me, all my days I’ve been held in your hand.

                  Because I have been. Held in God’s hands.  And I have lived that and believing that got me through the dark times in my life. The first time I heard it caught me completely off guard – and it was like a kick in my gut – a good kick – but still – I felt it through everything in me.

Two is – it is well with my soul. I have reached a place in my life – have gone through hard days – and throughout – I had peace in my soul.  While the outside may have fallen apart, in my soul, I knew God had me and I was ok. I remember when I lost my husband – and I look back and was able to drive myself home from the hospital – all by myself – because I was really really ok.  Broken – sad – devastated – but my soul was ok.

My staple – is Great is thy faithfulness – oh God my father - all I have needed thy hand hast provided, Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me. 

I was raised in church. My parents took us to church every Sunday. My mom taught SS, my daddy was a greeter/usher. He still is. He was always at the door opening it for people to come in and handing them a bulletin, picking up the offering etc.  It wasn’t a question on Sundays – we never asked “are we going to church” – it was just what we did on Sundays. Thankfully I married a guy who grew up in the same type of home, so we didn’t even have to discuss it when we got married.  We just got up and went to church. Tip – look for a man who was raised in a similar Christian home as yours – it makes things so much easier!! My kids never asked “are we going to church”. They just knew. I know that doesn’t bring any guarantees for raising kids and how they turn out – but it definitely increases the odds for them and their future. Raising our kids to know what we believe – whom we believe – and where we turn to get us through the hard times.

Anyway – I grew up in that environment so it was easy to continue that in marriage. I was saved at 8 years old – and while some kids may get confused through the teenage years as to whether they were really saved – I have never questioned or doubted my salvation. I remember walking up to the preacher during a revival – and I cried that I wanted to be saved. At 8 I knew I was lost. I knew. And in the years after, while I did what most or all Christians do in that ebb and flow of my relationship with God – sometimes close and obedient, sometimes not as close, not as obedient. – I have been a Christian since I was 8.  That did NOT change. What’s funny is that at 8 years old I was in the 3rd grade – and my SS teacher at the time was Mrs. Betty Thames. And I loved her. I’ll never forget she gave me a little silver cross pendant in that class for learning my books of the Bible. I still have it. A few years later I would pray for Mrs. Betty’s son – because he was really sick and in the hospital. I didn’t really understand at the time what was wrong with him, but I just knew her son was sick and we needed to pray for him.

In high school I was involved with our youth group – and it is there that I met David Thames – who happens to be Mrs. Betty’s son that I prayed for years before. Funny how things work out right?!! David and I dated for 7 years while I finished high school and college. Now – before David and I started dating, when he was so sick, his mom had given him a kidney – and the David I knew was well – he wasn’t sick. My parents had concerns for us. I remember conversations with them where they wanted to be sure I knew that he was sick – and I was adamant that he wasn’t sick. I didn’t understand what was in store for me as they did. But – God brought us together, and we had a good life.

We got married in 1992, and immediately after we got married, I got pregnant. Like - we married in February and Brett was born in December. And immediately, David started having problems with his kidney. The night I delivered Brett, David was sick and in the corner of the hospital room and slept through much of it. And I was not happy – but then two days later, the day we got home from the hospital, the doctor called and told David he needed to come in for a blood transfusion. It was the beginning of the end of his kidney.

By the time Brett was 2, David had completely rejected the kidney and was on dialysis. So 3 evenings a week, I would pack my 2 year old baby and we would go to the dialysis clinic and wait in the hard chairs while David had dialysis – for 3-4 hours. It was hard. Thankfully David adjusted pretty quickly and was soon able to drive himself back and forth so that Brett and I did not have to go.

Once David went on dialysis – we immediately began the process of looking for another kidney. At the time we did not carry cell phones, so we had to carry pagers and would get pages that required us to drop everything and head to New Orleans to get tested for a cadaver kidney.  We would sit around for hours in a waiting room with other people waiting for organs, including kidneys. I can remember looking at them and thinking – they are soooo sick – they need the kidney more than we do.

Throughout the process, in order to prepare for transplant – David had to be cleared by different doctors, including the dentist. I will never forget being at work – at Pelican – and David calling to tell me that he needed dental work to get cleared for a transplant. He told me how much it was, and I remember telling him “David how are we going to pay for that” and at the same time someone at work saying “Annette you have a call on line xxx” and me telling David I had to go. The call was Brett’s daycare – the administrator – telling me that the daycare was a ministry of the church, and that they had made the decision that they would not be taking any checks from us during this time that David was having to do dialysis. She said “don’t’ even try to pay because I’m going to tear it up!”  “All I have needed, thy hand hath provided” Great is thy faithfulness Lord unto me.

And yet I still feared. I still worried. I still doubted. 

In 1996 I was pregnant with my second baby – Meagan. During that time, David went on peritoneal dialysis. We loved this dialysis because it allowed him to be home with us – he did it in our living room – or wherever. SO we were able to go on family vacations and we would just pack up the dialysis solutions and head to wherever. Meagan came in 1997 and things seemed good – until they weren’t. In September of 97, Brett was 4, Meagan 7 months, and David started running fever – all the time. He couldn’t eat – and started losing a lot of weight. And he just got sicker and sicker. He would go in the hospital and they would do a surgery and he would come home and within a few days would get sick again and go back to the hospital. ICU, surgeries, etc. They couldn’t seem to figure out what was wrong with him.  And he was dying. He had gotten down to about 95 lbs, and they finally figured out he had tuburculosis – in his peritoneal cavity. This was a rare form of it, and we later found that at least 4 other patients in the Baton Rouge area on peritoneal dialysis had this same TB, and they died.

This is a picture of David during that 4 month period when he was so skinny.  This is a 32 year old guy right here.  And I’m 28 at this point.

 There was a LOT of praying going on during this time, and around November, David was at his worst point. I remember because the office was closed for Veteran’s day and I was at work by myself trying to catch up because I had missed so much work with him.  And the doctor called and told me about the surgery the next day. And I felt in my heart he would not make it through that surgery-  in fact the doctors had prepared me that he may not make it.  I left work and went to church – and slipped into the dark sanctuary and sat in our pew where we always sat – and I just prayed. Lord - I have two babies – and they need their daddy. But God already knew this. And in my heart I knew that God would take care of me – because God had always taken care of us. And that peace that passed all understanding passed over me. It is not anything you can truly comprehend until you experience it for yourself – and unfortunately – you have to get to the point of needing that kind of peace to get it – if you know what I mean. I left the church and went home and my mom met me there with the kids – and we picked up my house and prepared for “when company comes tomorrow” because in my heart I knew that people would be at my house because David would have died. 

I got up the next day and went to the hospital. And the doctor came to me after the surgery and said “I think we have figured it out’.  Now – later when you get home you can look up Bezoar – because that is what they cut out of his stomach. And while they had treated his TB – the appetite thing was still a problem. Until the bezoar.  Now we just had to wait and see if he turned around. If you know me – you know that if I am at the hospital – I am snacking. Heck – if I am anywhere, I am snacking.  SO, I had plenty of food at the hospital. They were on the window ledge – behind the couch thing. And that night I woke up in the middle of the night with him reaching over me – digging for my snacks. And he ate and ate and ate.

That was a Wednesday. Friday – they were still praying for David at church. There was a ladies Bible study group that met on Fridays – and this group prayed specifically for David to get a kidney.  Please send David a kidney. A lady by the name of Paula Rushing was in that group – praying for a kidney. At the same time, Paula’s husband David, was in a deer stand. And David Rushing had heard about this guy at church who had small kids who needed a kidney. And David began shaking and became overwhelmed with the need to give this guy a kidney. So he gets off of the stand – and heads home. Now – if anybody knows David Rushing – David is not the type of person to get off a deer stand mid-hunt. But – he needed to get home. So he walks in – and tells Paula – I want to give that guy at church a kidney. Same day!! Wife is praying. Husband gets chosen.  Now Paula does not know me – but she knows Mrs. Betty – and calls her. When I get to Mrs. Betty’s to get my kids – David is still in hospital – Mrs. Betty is in tears telling me about the phone call from Paula. And I wasn’t hearing it.  Mrs. Betty – I don’t know these people – we can’t take a kidney from them! And I shut her down.

A few weeks later we get David well and are back in church, Paula seeks me out and introduces herself and tells me. And I tell her that David is too sick to get a kidney but thank you. Shut her down.

They keep on. And on. And on. Until finally we say – fine – get tested.

Now – let me backpedal a little bit. When we were going through all of the stuff to get David on the list – in New Orleans – a new head of the transplant team came on – Dr Feduska – and we did not jive. I remember being in New Orleans while David was going through 3 days of tests, and he was in a semi-private room so I had to stay in a hotel. And I remember watching about the 1995 Oklahoma bombing that happened while we were there. Anyway – I was in the room with David and this doctor came in and asked me to step out because he needed to examine David. And I was mad. And he would not talk to me – if I had a question – he would ignore me – and only talk to David. Now if you knew David -you know that David did not talk and did not ask questions. So we could not get any answers.  It was so bad that I wrote a letter to the transplant board complaining and asking for a different doctor.

So – David Rushing gets tested – and Dr. Feduska – the one I complained on – calls ME – not David – but ME – he wants to talk to ME!!! And he proceeds to tell me that David R is not a perfect match – that the transplant team has concerns. Because my David had already had a transplant, he had antigens that would fight off strange tissue – hence – everyone that was getting tested – David’s body would fight off. And he proceeds to tell me that if it was okay with me, he wanted to proceed because he believed he could make it work and would I be okay with it. File that away because it is going to be important!

So we move forward. David and Paula Rushing invite David and Annette over to their house to meet.  We still don’t know them! It was a very awkward dinner! But we developed the most special friendship with them! David Rushing talked about how he wanted to give something because he couldn’t imagine his son (also named Brett) growing up without a daddy – and that it broke him thinking of our Brett growing up without a daddy. And – David said that he wanted to feel a little bit of pain of suffering for someone the way Christ had suffered for us. 

So in October 1998 we got a kidney. And we probably had 60 people in the waiting room for that surgery. And the surgery took a long long time. The transplanted kidney immediately produced urine and Paula yelled out “praise God”. And in my heart I could not celebrate. I doubted. I felt throughout the process that this was not going to work. Why would God give us a miracle? Why would God do this? He wouldn’t.  We didn’t deserve it. It was too good to be true. It would fail.

But it produced urine. It was working. And I smiled but in my mind said it was not going to work. Something was going to go wrong.

That night – after everyone had gone home – David started hurting. Two days later – David and Paula had been discharged – and it was just me and David left in New Orleans. and David was hurting really bad. So they prepared to take David back to surgery. And Dr. Feduska came and found me. He stood with me in the hallway of the hospital and told me that he was going to open David back up – and if the kidney was rejecting, then it would split open like an overripe tomato – and if the skin split – he would have to take it out. And I said in my heart – then prepare to take it out because I KNEW this would not work. I knew the skin would be split. I knew all along this kidney was not going to work.

And this time, we had just about 8 people in the waiting room while they did another surgery. And it was dark. And quiet. There was not joy. There was no excitement. Just worry. Fear. Doubt.

And I’ll never forget. Dr. Feduska comes out. And he tells me that the kidney had split open. It was rejecting. Then he proceeds to say “but I did something. I wrapped this kidney in a material that most doctors today don’t even know exists. I’ve been doing this a long time, and I have wrapped this kidney with a material the consistency of cotton candy or steel wool – it is fibrous and I’ve wrapped this kidney with it – and I want to see if it will grow back together. He will have to lay completely flat for about a week – he cannot move for anything and we will watch and see. “

And at that point – I broke down. Because I realized that this was my miracle. While the kidney was David’s, this experience – with this doctor that I complained about – this was to address my doubts. This was for me to grow in my faith. That doctor said that if David’s creatinine ever got below 2 then he would know that a higher power was involved. And David’sk creatinine got below 1.5.  It got as low as 1.2. And those doctors knew that God was in charge of that kidney.

That kidney lasted 15 years. In 2013 David went back on Dialysis. The hard kind – the one that had to go to the clinic 3 times a week and disrupted our lives. But we learned to adapt. We booked dialysis at clinics in Alaska and Yellowstone and Branson and Tennessee.  And eventually he learned to do his own dialsys at home – the hard kind – hemodialysis – we had a dialysis machine in our house and he stuck himself with huge needles and my kids and I learned to pull those needles and help him hold his “sticks” til the blood clotted.

We learned to appreciate family. My kids have a different outlook on life. They get it. They know the value of time with family. They know how hard life can be but they also know you make the best of it. And that God is faithful.

And from the time I had that prayer in the dark church, David lived 25 years. He saw his kids grow up and get married, and have babies of their own. He held his grandkids. And he loved them, and he had a life that he never thought he would have. And God gave it to him.

See – God is faithful.

So – in 2022 when it came time to say goodbye to Dave, I couldn’t be angry. I hurt – I cried – but I also knew that God had given me 25 more years and answered my prayer to give my kids their daddy. And I could never not be thankful.  

Songs speak to me – a lot. I remember being in church at Amite at thanksgiving after the transplant - David had just gotten home because he had to stay there a month after the transplant – and we were in church – and they sang the song – Give thanks – with a grateful heart give thanks, to the holy one give thanks because he’s given Jesus Christ his son. And now let he weak say I am strong, let the poor say I am rich because of what the lord has done for us. And I cried and cried and cried.

Last year I heard “Goodness of God” for the first time – and I cried. Because all my days, I’ve been held in his hand. 

Now – life is different for me. I never wanted to live alone. I loved being married. And one day maybe God will change my status but for now – I’m having to build a different life.  And I’m okay. I’m extremely blessed and have a wonderful life. And I’m so very thankful that my parents raised me to know God. I 10000% believe it changes everything.

1 Samual chapter 7 – the Israelites were facing the Philistines – again. The prior times they had been in rebellion against God – and they were defeated by the Philistines. And now they were facing them again. And they were afraid.

Then all the people of Israel turned back to the Lord. 3 So Samuel said to all the Israelites, “If you are returning to the Lord with all your hearts, then rid yourselves of the foreign gods and the Ashtoreths and commit yourselves to the Lord and serve him only, and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines.” 4 So the Israelites put away their Baals and Ashtoreths, and served the Lord only.

5 Then Samuel said, “Assemble all Israel at Mizpah, and I will intercede with the Lord for you.” 6 When they had assembled at Mizpah, they drew water and poured it out before the Lord. On that day they fasted and there they confessed, “We have sinned against the Lord.” Now Samuel was serving as leader[a] of Israel at Mizpah.

7 When the Philistines heard that Israel had assembled at Mizpah, the rulers of the Philistines came up to attack them. When the Israelites heard of it, they were afraid because of the Philistines. 8 They said to Samuel, “Do not stop crying out to the Lord our God for us, that he may rescue us from the hand of the Philistines.” 9 Then Samuel took a suckling lamb and sacrificed it as a whole burnt offering to the Lord. He cried out to the Lord on Israel’s behalf, and the Lord answered him.

10 While Samuel was sacrificing the burnt offering, the Philistines drew near to engage Israel in battle. But that day the Lord thundered with loud thunder against the Philistines and threw them into such a panic they were routed before the Israelites. 11 The men of Israel rushed out of Mizpah and pursued the Philistines, slaughtering them along the way to a point below Beth Kar.

12 Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer,[b] saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”

13 So the Philistines were subdued and they stopped invading Israel’s territory. Throughout Samuel’s lifetime, the hand of the Lord was against the Philistines.

Samuel built an alter of rocks – and named it Ebenezer – because it happened at ebenezer. Ebenezer means “stone of help” in Hebrew. And Samuel raised this rock and says because “thus far – the Lord has helped us”.

Come thou fount of every blessing - Here I raise my ebenezer, hither by thy help I’ve come.

Get you an ebenezer – whether it be a rock, a song,  or some other reminder – that says – thus far – the Lord has helped us – the Lord has held me in His hand – and let it be a reminder to you that whatever you are facing – God holds you in His hand.